Latest Struggle…

I’m going through a bit of a hard time. I’m struggling with issues, trying to make sense of things that really make no sense. I have been uncomfortable for days, unsure of what is causing it. Food? Stress? Anxiety? I don’t know. What I do know is I really want it to stop. A few weeks ago I went to get the results from my last procedure…I went in with high hopes, I haven’t been having any symptoms and I have been feeling great. What I was told was that instead of being better, or dormant, my UC is in fact spreading; getting worse without actually showing external symptoms. I really don’t understand, and perhaps I’m not supposed to. I feel like I’m in a rut, just can’t get out. I am really trying to stay positive and happy, I know I can only control so much…

It was suggested that perhaps I should keep a food journal. Keep track of food that might trigger certain symptoms. I know there are foods beyond gluten that I should probably ween out of my diet. Dairy and beef being two big ones, and honestly the beef is easy…dairy not so much. I buy dairy free milk, my son ends up drinking most of it, which is okay I don’t mind since I don’t really drink much. I also, really need to take my medication. I am SO bad with taking pills. Especially when I feel fine. (Speaking of which, I haven’t taken them yet today.) But I need to take my medication, I have three different types I take now; plus two others to take when I am having bad symptoms. I think there are about 5 different medications right now. Ugh…just writing that out sucks.

I am gluten free, it has made me feel so much better. I believe, and my doctor agrees, that I have a sensitivity on top of the UC, as well as probably being lactose intolerant…yes right now I am totally bummed. I love food, I have changed so much to make myself feel better, to feel normal; and I feel really good…or I was. I am just so confused.

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I appreciate you listening, I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m sure my husband is tired of hearing about it, even though he will sit and listen like he knows what I’m going through. I’m not sure he really understands, just like most people who don’t deal with it. So, I have attached some links that may be helpful.

Crohns & Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA)
National Foundation for Celiac Awareness
Ostomystory Channel (I’m not here, but it is really interesting, she is so strong)

I want to cry…I haven’t had a venting post like this in a while…

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